Where Is Your Light Directing You Today?

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It’s perhaps enough that we ask ourselves what career path we want to choose and what our true passions are that we don’t need others asking us all the same unfortunate questions.There’s just too much pressure to know off hand what we’re going to be doing for the rest of our lives. Sure, the economy seems to be statistically doing just fine and jobs are being “created” by the ever accumulating problems of being human, but opportunity and money both seem scarce us. We’re all scared.

We never needed to label the things we loved doing and we certainly didn’t need the word “passion” to know it. Excuses are what these questions are. No one starts questioning what their “passions” are until they’ve gotten old enough to be scared they don’t have any.

Here are some other fun excuses we commonly make:

  • I’m raising children.
  • I’m in debt.
  • This passion thing isn’t going to pay.
  • I’m thirty years old and should be doing something serious with my life.

When we were children we never thought that one day we’d grow up, hold jobs and pay bills, but guess what happened? I speak for many others when I say we feel overcome by our own excuses everyday. Full of disappointment in ourselves. We hate to think it’s too late for something or worse–we were never good enough. Perhaps there is no use in telling everyone that we are all good enough for something and maybe there is no solution to this issue, but there is still one thing we can do to persist and try. Pretend to be the child you once were without setting aside the wisdom you’ve gained in adulthood.

I don’t recall when I started asking what my career is going to be but at some point we all did. Logically speaking, we know job security doesn’t exist but we still pine after it nonetheless. We’ve ended up making a lot of choices “just in case”.

Remember the last generation that pined after secure factory jobs? Decades later we are questioning why that was ever a desirable prospect. Pretty soon we’ll look back and think the same of our cushy corporate jobs under florescent lights. We have to work hard to make a job work for us, not the other way around.

I never thought about careers as a kid, just what I wanted to do. Later, when I actually began to think about careers, I thought much less about what I wanted to do. How ironic. I’ve counted the number of jobs I’ve had since I entered post secondary. Jobs, not careers. A lot of what I’ve done didn’t exist when I was a kid. Heck, some of the jobs out there right now didn’t exist even five years ago. So whenever I try to start planning a year ahead, I always end up guessing wrong. There is no helping what will lie ahead.

We all have a light within us that we’ve perhaps buried over the years. What path is your light illuminating today? Sometimes it directs us to experiences we’ve had before for reflection and others for our curious and creative desires. But it never points to meetings and the fact that our co-workers don’t like us.

Improve your life by dedicating a larger portion of your day to walking on the path your light shines upon. Maybe some days you can only give it 10 percent and perhaps you can give it your all on the weekends. As with all things in life, we can work towards improving this over the years.

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Unfollowed.

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Is there ever a good way to address the problem of unfollowing? Before the time of social media, this form of rejection never existed.

At one point or another in our lives, we get unfollowed. I don’t just mean via our social media accounts but rejected in various aspects of life as well. A friend might delete you off Facebook and a business partner could want to stop working with you. Some of these things we can shake off easily and move on. Then we are left with those that can haunt us for years to come, until we make an effort to seek out new perspectives in our lives.

After every single rejection we fret over how we’ll be able to put ourselves out there again after being so hurt. We become jaded over the frustration and anger. The same negative emotions pester us to no end and build a negative energy over and over again.

I won’t deny that to a degree, we all need the validation of others. But what’s more is that freeing yourself from being unfollowed or blatantly rejected in life only truly begins when you find fulfillment in yourself.

Most recently I had the pleasure of working with someone incredibly bright in the field of academia with multiple upcoming publications. When she broke down, stating she was alone and that everyone hated her–it was all nonsense to me. Despite having been successful in her field of choice, landing the job of her dreams and having many adoring students she had read negative messages directed towards her while at the same time ignoring all the good.

Anyone in a similar situation would feel lost. Because of this, our motivation is temporarily heightened as we feel the need to obsess over results. This is what happens when we weigh our fulfillment on validation from others and their judgments. Staying grounded is key to having more self-love.

Before you decide on what to wear from your wardrobe each morning, you should wear the confidence. Why? Because it looks good on you.

There is no pleasing everyone. And if they unfollow? Good. You didn’t abandon yourself to keep them.

What we really need aren’t opinions from others on how we should feel. We need to do something. Anything. As long as we do it while treating ourselves with value.

It’s true what they say about us giving up power for others to hurt us by their rejection. Even when we look back to the people that unfollowed and countless more rejections that slapped us across the face in the past, we manage to see the good in it for being the pivot points of our lives. We survived another episode of rejection. And guess what? It wasn’t so bad after all.

So next time you get unfollowed or rejected in one way or another, know that it was just what you needed. Not that “they shouldn’t have!” or “you deserve better! nonsense.

Happiness that remains dependent on judgments formed by others will always be temporary. Beyond that, it’s difficult to recall the world we lived in before part of our validation became based on how many up-votes our thoughts received. Instead of fishing for compliments from others, we can try constantly complimenting ourselves instead. Why not tell yourself you’re awesome everyday?

Can we really learn from rejection you may wonder? Of course we can. Perhaps the rejection happened to show us that our approach was all wrong and yes, ultimately meaning we screwed up. Not only is it important to ask ourselves “Why?” but it’s just as important to ask “What can I takeaway from this rejection?”. We’re capable of reflections that make us better as human beings and prepare us for upcoming opportunities in our lives. Being rejected or unfollowed isn’t a “me game” where the whole situation revolves around you and you only. There isn’t a need to be battling more fears and insecurities of the imagination. Sometimes we’re more capable of nurturing ourselves after rejection than anyone else.

We’re the only ones responsible for healing our own wounds. Not time.

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